Rosaria Butterfield and the Sin of Empathy

Image source: https://x.com/nakedpastor/status/1883862633704571106

I was trying to decide between two topics to write on and this one won. Rosaria Butterfield has written the foreward to The Sin of Empathy: Compassion and its Counterfeits a book by Joe Rigney. It's published by Canon Press, Doug Wilson's publishing house.

I haven't really wanted to spend a lot of time researching the arguments, but I found some interesting articles and summaries that have started showing me a systemic issue. I do love to weigh in on those systemic issues!

If I understand the argument correctly, empathy is differentiated from sympathy by where the emotions are anchored. Sympathy is anchored in our own experiences while empathy is us trying to understand someone's emotions from their own perspective. Rigney's original flashpoint article is here: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-enticing-sin-of-empathy, and I really valued this article in trying to understand some of the nuance: https://www.lambsreign.com/blog/the-dangerous-fad-of-calling-empathy-a-sin

Rigney claims that empathy is sinful because it somehow detaches us from truth and our own lived experience. This is similar to the "can I attend the wedding of my gay friend" argument. That is attendance at a wedding is tacit approval. Since we cannot approve of a gay wedding, we cannot attend such a wedding. In the same way, if we, say, empathize with a drug dealer, we are somehow detaching our emotions from the truth that dealing drugs is wrong and re-attaching them to the false worldview of the drug dealer. Rigney then uses this premise to rail against empathy for any LGTBQ+ person because, in his thought process, one cannot empathize with that person without somehow attaching to their sinful worldview. This is most likely why Rosaria Butterfield was asked to write the foreward.

I think Rosaria is in a uniquely hard position and, while I disagree strongly with her stance, I can see things that led her in that direction. Ken and Floy were truly wonderful people, but I think that the RPCNA she joined because of them 'gloried in her flesh' by parading her around and, certainly Kent's heavy patriarchal and authoritarian beliefs have not helped. When she came to speak at my church, she did not want any public advertisement because she drew crowds of protesters and threats of violence. I can't really imagine the effect living with hate mail, death threats and protests would have on me, but I doubt I would have handled it with the grace she did for as long as she did. However, it seems that all of this has taken its toll on her, as https://reformationproject.org/rosaria-butterfield-shift/ has described, she's become increasingly vindictive in her rhetoric against that community.

The idea that empathy is a sin reminds me of the RPCNA response to transgender issues. Essentially it starts with a scientific and empathetic view of transgender people and the struggles they have, even showing evidence for intersex people in the Bible. Then some sort of snap happens and the discussion seems to re-anchor in a black and white absolutism of scripture with the idea that God made "male and female" and thus, we must overcome our empathy to make sure people are forced into their proper bucket and gender roles.

My initial thought was that Jesus's interaction with Mary and Martha was totally empathy and not sympathy. Jesus weeps. It doesn't appear that Jesus being overcome with emotion is anchored in his own experience and truth. He already knew and he already told Martha that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, but when (I think) he saw the situation from their perspective, he was overcome by the sadness and hopelessness of it and he wept.

The lambsreign article also also had a helpful example. Christians can be involved in prison ministry, and we can empathize with people in prison without abandoning our desire for justice. We can be sad with them that they are locked up even if they are locked up because they killed someone. Someone told me about a book that said, two things can be true at the same time. This person can be a criminal and this person can be justifiably sad about their current state. I could counsel a prisoner as a human without having to keep their "criminal" label front and center.

I appreciated that advice. What was demonstrated to me in parenting was that it was somehow wrong to comfort someone who caused their own grief. So, if my kid burns himself on the hot stove after I told him not to touch it... well, I can treat the medical issue, of course, but the idea of entering into the shock and pain and sadness was somehow justifying the disobedience. Two things can be true - my child burned himself, and my child is sad and in pain and needs comfort.

Apparently there was a Facebook discussion based on a similar article by Joe Rigney. I suppose that if empathy is a sin, then abuse and vitriol must be righteous.