If you haven't read Wade Mullen's book Something's not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse -- and Freeing Yourself from its Power, it's definitely worth the read. I plan to dig deeper into the book and how it demonstrates some of the abusive tactics in the RPCNA, but for now, I want to highlight some pieces that are sure to come to light as more is revealed in West Lafayette. (It's similar to what I was saying about "country bumpkins")
A common excuse of ability that organizations use is the suggestion that those in positions to respond were not prepared through education and training ... Once an organization assumes the responsibility that comes with being in charge, they assume the obligation to make sure they are adequately equipped to exercise their authority. Insufficient training or lack of foresight is not an acceptable excuse for leaders charged with the duty to protect the organization's members (page 109)For example, when a mandatory reporter of child abuse fails to report suspected abuse and then claims, "I didn't know what the law was," that excuse can be challenged by saying, "You had an obligation to be familiar with the laws when you accepted the duty to care for children." In this case, the excuse of ability is not legitimate. (page 122)
When I read this, my eyes were completely opened to time after time RP leaders who completely bungled investigations and cases and then either they excused it or the higher courts excused it. The sorts of excuses we see are things like "intricate" "complex" "deceptive", etc., when the truth is that these men have no qualifications and they refuse to learn.
I can't tell you how many times I was in a situation with leadership where I proposed an option, was shut down saying the option was ill-advised, stupid, wrong or whatever, only to find with a couple of searches that I was right in the first place. These men refuse to learn and they use claims of spiritual superiority and giftedness as an excuse to refuse any attempts at correction or the need to gain wisdom.
For those still in the RP church, there is an extraordinary amount of wisdom about how abusive systems are created and maintained and how people can get sucked into those abusive systems and end up knowingly defending abusers.
[Hit post a bit prematurely] The point that rings clear here that I didn't get earlier is that being an elder or pastor in the RP church or any other church is not just about being a smart, nice guy who cares for people. Those are essentials, yes, but it's also about training and work. Just like a teacher or doctor, the elders need to commit to life long training. They need to commit to deep understanding of policies, why they are in place, and when contradictory truth is uncovered, like spiritual abuse and conflicts of interest, the policies need to be updated so that the sheep are protected. Even the policies, though, do not protect the sheep when the leadership are stuck in an abusive system. They simply ignore them.
Someone pointed out that Immanuel was founded with elders in their mid-20's. Probably nice guys who cared for people, but didn't have the wisdom and discernment to protect the flock from abusive pastors and a seasoned retired abusive pastor/elder.
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This sounds like a very helpful read, both from the title and from the quote. I think my wife would appreciate it too, so there's a good chance we'll read it together.
"being an elder or pastor in the RP church or any other church is not just about being a smart, nice guy who cares for people. Those are essentials, yes, but it's also about training and work. Just like a teacher or doctor, the elders need to commit to life long training."
This is an excellent point. In the PCA, there is typically a substantial training/vetting period for elder candidates before they are presented to the congregation for approval, and these can be helpful (not perfect, but helpful) in sifting out candidates who clearly lack these qualities. I don't believe that continuing education after ordination is required, though.
Even so, continuous training from those who are wiser and more godly (and I mean TRULY wiser and more godly) is highly compatible with the biblical requirements for an elder:
"above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, skillful in teaching, not overindulging in wine, not a bully, but gentle, not contentious, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity ... and not a new convert. ... And he must have a good reputation with those outside"
"beyond reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not overindulging in wine, not a bully, not greedy for money, but hospitable, loving what is good, self-controlled, righteous, holy, disciplined, holding firmly the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict"
In light of this, if all is to be done according to best practices, then such training need not be formal, but it must be at the feet of a good teacher, and it is indispensable. Also, it should be noted that although the needed qualities for an elder do not always come with age (both because there are some young men who are unusually gifted in these areas and plenty of older men who are not), I would assume they are more likely to be found in men who have lived longer and had more opportunities to learn lessons from life.
I'm thinking ongoing training not as much in the theological sense, but more in the practical sense. The laws change, the accepted scientific/psychological understanding changes and even within the church, there are lessons learned.
I know of an instance where a pastor was tried by a commission and the commission found the charges not sustained. Presbytery tried to overturn the commission's decision, but their lesson learned was "pastors need to be tried by a full presbytery" - that is the sort of thing that could be updated and studied.
I think abuse will turn denominations upside down. I believe emotional and spiritual abuse is a generational issue (Boomers call Millennials "snowflakes") and Millennials tend to be be walking out of harmful churches. When there is finally an acknowledgement of that issue I hope that incoming elders are trained on how to create and maintain a safe environment.
"I'm thinking ongoing training not as much in the theological sense, but more in the practical sense. The laws change, the accepted scientific/psychological understanding changes and even within the church, there are lessons learned. ... When there is finally an acknowledgement of [abuse] I hope that incoming elders are trained on how to create and maintain a safe environment."
Precisely.
I'm going to have to take issue with the "smart, nice guy" assumption. How can we still be saying that when over and over we are seeing that people who want these roles are being exposed for being either not smart, not nice, or both. If one can't see abuse of the very people that one has supposedly committed to caring for, then, they are not "smart," or they are not "nice" if they refuse to act on the truth. The type of people that want to be in authority in these systems are not great people. Especially if they are so arrogant as to write off one half of the population (women) as inferior to them, and also to assume that, at an age when their brains haven't even finished developing, they are called to lead large groups of people. They aren't Jesus. The very term "elder" implies an older, wiser person. These guys are LARPers.
Thanks, I was trying to simplify a complex topic. There have been studies done on businesses and the transition from worker to management, and the two main themes are competence and time. A worker who puts in many years will probably be promoted. It has little to do with their ability to lead, management skills or the like. Even niceness.
I have more detail about what I've seen in the RPCNA in a different post, but it's more along the lines of competence and time.
And when I say "nice" I'm more thinking about posture towards leadership. Which is why, I think, many narcissistic types are being pushed on the congregations, who later feed on the sheep.
And I went toe-to-toe once with someone who wrote a post that a pastor/elder had to have an IQ of at least 120. I think the Bible clearly teaches that Spiritual gifting is not the same as the gifts we admire from a fleshly sense. It's the Western tradition that has equated intellectualism and energy with giftedness, not wisdom and a long life lived well. We've come full circle, in a sense, of being back to "I am of Paul, I am of Apollos" styled churches where preaching style and intellect is at the forefront.
Maybe I'm backwards, but I don't want to follow geniuses with minefield of destruction in their wake, and be honest, doesn't it seem that the bigger the RP persona, the bigger the destruction? Not that small-town RPs like Pockras haven't caused devastation as well.
Another symptom that is worthy of exploring regarding the idol of over realized ecclesiology and Sacerdotalism so prevalent in NAPARC would be to probe their unbiblical obsession and pharisaical legalism with the Sabbath. I would love to see an in-depth on NAPARC’s distortion of the Sabbath and why that distortion exists.
Here is my 60sec synopsis……….
Ever wonder why your personal prayer time or Bible reading is always cast in a sub par light? Ever wonder why a second service and keeping busy with church activities is more important than Christ Himself? Ever wonder why the pastor’s 45 min sermon twice on Sunday (and re listening and reviewing those notes throughout the week) is more important than the Lord’s Supper , which apparently only needs to be done once every quarter or heck maybe every 6 months?? (Even though it was unequivocally and directly instituted by our Lord himself, NOT second service or the hyper elevation of preaching that exists in almost every NAPARC church)
It is a long list of practiced realities that clearly point to a people/denomination/tribe which really believe it is their traditions and their offices which are a Christians true gateway to heaven.
Oh to be sure they will gaslight and deny it, but despite the cognitive dissonance and speaking out of both sides of their mouth, it is clearly the practiced deeply held belief to hold the (c)hurch higher than Christ Himself.
Ever wonder why you are highly admonished to make the entire "orientation" of your life the (c)hurch? (instead of Christ)
Ever wonder why if the (c)hurch moves across town you should sell your home and buy a home closer to the building........
........ Because you are part of a cult people! And you should leave it post haste.
I was reminded today that the path to Heaven is the narrow road and the path to destruction is wide. I wonder how many of the ~65% self-identified Christians in the US follow Jesus and get their value and worth from him alone and how many of those 65% are following men and institutions for their approval as a proxy for serving Jesus. How many exemplify the basic litmus test Jesus gave: "love for the brethren"? Even in the RPCNA, there are factions upon factions each with hatred towards each other.
It's scary how much conservative Christianity has been tied to a culture of abuse, hatred and selfishness. All in the name of Jesus.
re: the Sabbath. The root of legalism is an authoritarian misunderstanding of the character of God. God says he is love, but legalists ignore that and focus single-mindedly on, I believe, justice and holiness. These are important characteristics but it seems that the picture of Jesus is God setting aside his high and exalted position to dig in the dirt with his people and lift them up.
I say that because the RPCNA and NAPARC never get past what they think is the god of the OT. Narcissistic, selfish, judgmental and evasive. So, the Bible is less the story about how God over and over chooses relationship over punishment and more an encyclopedia of rules and regulations that are hidden to all but the most discerning.
So, the Sabbath isn't a foretaste of rest, but, as the Orthodox Jews also hold, a complex set of rules and regulations to separate the pure from the impure. Not a rest at all, but a day we must be on our A-game.
A day of rest, but also unrest (obligation). So, if we come to church and hear abuse and not grace, we accept suffering "for our own good." Isn't it ironic that Jesus said the Sabbath is a day of lifting burdens, but RPCNA pastors everywhere like to heap obligation (i.e. "challenging" sermons) and wear people down.
The very day becomes tortuous. Is it okay to throw a frisbee? Is it okay to take a walk or jog? At what BPM does my heart stop resting and start working. Is it okay to "kindle a flame" in my gas stove or oven, or turn my electric kettle on, since I'm merely allowing the electrons to move through the wires in the heating element?
From Springs Reform church Facebook (RPCNA) out of Colorado Springs Facebook post December 23rd.....Here is how they promote the sermon.
"In the evening service, pastor Jason Ryce preached from Hosea 1, a frightful, living metaphor. God , our loving, faithful husband, wounds us at times to drive us into his arms."
I would say that not only does this reveal a lot in general, but also utterly tone deaf in light of the very recent Pastor Jared Olivetti
sexual abuse scandal in which he helped cover up the abuse of 15 children at their tiny little church. Talk about rationalizing away abuse!
More evidence as to why NAPARC sessions, elders and pastors are pretty much the worst place on earth to seek help or council for anything! 9 out of 10 they will bungle it up worse!
The post can be found here, go to Dec 23 to see for yourself.
https://m.facebook.com/springs.reformed.church.RPCNA/?refid=52&__tn__=C-R
But I guess none of this should surprise us. After all the response to these issue like the one at this link from NAPARC pastor Kim Riddlebarger is indicative of the norm. Namely an insistent theme that because of our precious (idol) form of church government “it can never happen here.” Denial!
Check it out>>
https://www.kimriddlebarger.com/the-riddleblog/here-is-why-elders-matter
These are not one offs folks, this is indeed the systemic culture in the RPCNA and in NAPARC.
Walk away! Christ is enough, don't buy the lie that you need their (c)hurch.
"A previous study by LifeWay Christian Resources found that 94% of churchgoers believe “their church is a safe place where children and teenagers are protected from sexual abuse.” Meanwhile, 87% were confident that their church “is likely to report suspicions of abuse or neglect to the appropriate authorities.”
These stats show not only just how blind Christians are to the reality in their midst, but it also reveals the biggest idol in their lives is the church itself. Protect, defend, cover up at all cost.
https://faithfullymagazine.com/jared-olivetti-pastor-hid-abuse/
It's probably good that Blogger ate my reply. It's one thing to say that God allows natural consequences of our actions, and yet another to say that God wounds us, and completely in keeping with the narcissistic and authoritarian god of the RPCNA.
I think the message of Hosea, like the message I quote about sheep is that God intervenes on the behalf of the least. Does Jesus ever get angry or rage at the sheep or is his rage always directed at the evil shepherds? But, the RPCNA flips this upside down. "God loves and blesses the pastor and he wounds the pew-sitter," they say.
I would say that there is a both-and to how God deals with us, just like predestination does not conflict with free will. In the same way, I think we can say God works through unpleasant circumstances to help us understand the consequences of our behavior. There are still some RP-isms that I'm wrestling with, and this is one, so I'll probably not try to dig deeper on the record.
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